Monday, 10 January 2011


This is a design for an alternative to the conventional advent calendar. Each day the reader reveals the next line of a poem accompanied by an illustration. You’ll find the poem to accompany each image below the illustrations. I’m quite certain I’ve broken every rule of poetry writing that there is, but I still think it’s funny.

Robin flew this Christmas night, snow lay on the rooftops glistening,

But passing over Jonny’s house, he noticed something missing.

Thought Robin, “With the chimney blocked, my friend won’t get his gift”,

“I won’t have Jonny missing out, this obstruction I must shift”.

He hopped and jumped to no avail, this wasn’t the tamest of blocks,

“C’mon” said Robin to himself, “Let's think outside the box”.

Inside he found the fireplace; he’d push out this pile of crap,

Dad’s fishing rod proved the perfect tool, till Robin heard a snap.

“Right”, said Robin, and undeterred, he went to fetch Mum’s Dyson,

It coughed and spluttered and billowed smoke; thank god it had the price on.

“This means war”, our hero thought, and resolved to light a fire,

The house began to fill with smoke, with consequences dire.

“I’ll unblock this chimney with Cillit Bang, just like on the telly”,

But this just let off noxious fumes that got to Robin’s belly.

“Sod this”, screamed Robin, “I’ll go online; a sweeper I shall hire us”,

Dear Robin hit Ctrl Alt Del, and caught a computer virus.

Abandoning all hope and reason, witchcraft now seemed appealing,

Poor Robin got his spells mixed up and Fido hit the ceiling.

He packed the Chimney with dynamite, and wincing, lit the fuse,

The explosion tore off Jonny’s roof, and this did not amuse.

“What’s all this”, boomed Santa Claus, emerging from the snow,

“Have you been good? I need not ask, I’m off to file an ASBO”

“I’m sorry I ruined your Christmas Jonny, the night’s been an endurance”

“Don’t be silly” said Jonny’s Dad, “we’ll claim on the insurance!”

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