The elves of Lapland make the toys for Santa to deliver,
They work hard all day and night for this generous toy-giver.
The oldest elf in Santa’s care is a master of his craft,
“10 bikes a day I’ll make for you. I know how to graft.”
But kids these days don’t go for bikes, or dolls or rocking horses,
They prefer computer games according to Alf’s sources.
“I want to get with modern times, and here’s the bloomin’ reason,”
“I long to relive former glory as employee of the season.”
So Alf picked up his soldering iron and placed his first resistor,
And soon enough he’d built an ‘Elf Box’ and sustained a nasty blister.
On Christmas Eve his games were sent to every girl and guy,
By Boxing Day complaints rolled in, “Our kids have RSI!”
Next year he built an Elf Pod so he could listen to piano,
But a younger elf had gone one better and invented Elf Pod Nano.
After that he wasted plastic on a figure of the Hoff,
Once the kids had fired his Mega Lasertm the novelty wore off.
“I’ve made a dozen dolls before, but never one that’s sassy,”
When Christmas came the parents cried “This really isn’t classy.”
At last, thought Alf, a classic toy - a simple magic set,
But modern magic’s rather odd; it was the least fun yet.
Now Alf was frustrated, but he had a plan, he wrapped up boxes empty!
On Christmas morn the kids were shocked as they’d expected plenty.
Imagination saved the day. Who needs a computer game?
Alf got his wish because he knew kids always stay the same.
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